came home late yest and had to study for maths so no time to blog. its gg to be a long entry today. i wonder why i still try even though i know i will still fail. haiz. please give me a double digit at least! i know i cant pass it. one year ago, failing anything would be the end of the world. now im used to failing already. like someone once told me: when u step into jc, u'll get used to failing.
yest's chem lecture was..i dunno how to describe it. the lecturer actually placed 3 orange post-its below the chairs to make ppl ans the qns. sheesh. that was so scary la! next time when she lectures again, i must make sure i check first ;)
spent 4-5hrs on sun doing pw. killed my eyes. but pw rocks! coz it is on a topic close to our hearts. i love pw and i look forward to all pw session except lectures.
missed quite a bit of CO yest. decided to go for econs remedial instead of da zu. then at night i got a msg from shi jun. CO ppl dun read my blog hor? so i can say it here. almost the whole section is ponning on wed! except for amelia, zhi wen, lynette, shao min and kang li. the rest of us not gg haha! we are so "united"!
saw the cca best practices yest. canoeing's one was inspiring. malay dance seems so close knitted. made me reflect on what im doing. why CO? it isnt something im passionate abt. it isnt something i look forward to. isnt cca supposed to be ur interest? shldnt u love it? shldnt u look forward to it? why do i seem to hate it? my parents made me join it coz there is almost 100% guarantee i could participate in SYF which will look good on my testimonial. i love chinese music but not to the extent of joining it. if i had the choice, i might have joined something like I and E. i wun make the same mistake in uni anymore. mistakes can be made once but not twice.
oh yes the hol list. im adding sociology, philosophy, psychology and stock exchange to it! and i was thinking of picking up spanish or russian. then this morning i asked janice. and she said her dad asked her to pick up spanish. so we have decided that both of us are gg to learn spanish together! and we are gg to debate abt issues regarding sociology, philosophy and psychology! and we will most prob learn hairstyling together ;)
sounds fun huh? dun worry im still sane and no im not drunk haha! i know it is so unlike me to do these things. i dunno why but ive been reflecting a lot these days. ive been wondering what life means to me. and perhaps, i need to enrich my life to find some meaning to live on and no longer feel depressed. i dont want that feeling of emptiness anymore. i will do something to change it.
if i could take a 2nd specialisation in uni like my sis, i might take business law. that would give me an excuse to apply for SMU and not stay in the hostel. went there last sat. seems like a pretty good location. my mum was like a hostel should be the last thing u consider! why are u always thinking about everything from the wrong perspective?! well the ans is this: i see my sis shuffling to and fro every weekend. like moving house like that. i dont see the point! plus i dont want to imagine washing my own clothes and waking up to boil water every morning. i really cant do it. im not gg to stay in a hostel. and since NTU is so far away from my hse, either u buy me an apartment and hire a maid for me or i shall apply to SMU!
i was talking to yingtse on sun night. i had this idea that we shld take out our crescent uni and wear it again and tresspass into the sch. and do what we used to! fishing at the sch pond! i was like yingtse yingtse yingtse yingtse yingtse yingtse yingtse. then she was like yes yes yes yes? i was like i miss you. aww! we are only 2 bridges away yet it seems like miles away.
the 9 to 5 thing didnt work. i tried falling asleep at 930 but i ended up falling asleep only at 1030. forget it. scrap that idea.
central affairs last episode. i dont know. i really dont know. who exactly does si chen love? charles or zhi jian? how can she still love zhi jian after everything he has done? my mum was like love is like that. yea i guess so. i started doubting myself. do i know what love is? i guess not. prob not now.
oh yes this hilarious thing happened for maths. mr tsang asked 1 of us how do we calculate the mean for even nos? then the person replied add 1. HAHAHA! goodness. and i wonder why the tables are always so awkardly arranged, we always seem so erm isolated?
one last thing. i realise i always stone when im tired. u can catch me staring into space or something.
XiaoQi
______ Dreams
are dancing on a melody at 3:37 PM
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